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Key 2: Deposits do not accur until the recipient considers it a deposit You simply don't know what constitutes a deposit umil you understand the other person. For some, receiving feedback and comments on things they've done is a deposit. For others, it's a withdrawal. If your motives for making a deposit are not sincere, others will feel manipulated. It's not about doing or saying things that look positive. Your intentions can be good, but only the person you are interacting with can decide whether your gesture is a deposit or a withdrawal. ARE YOU IN THE RED WITH RELATIONSHIPS? It's time for an Emotional Bank Account evaluation. Choose two relation- ships you would like to improve and use the tool shown on the preceding page to determine whether you have a positive or negative trust balance with those people. EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT EVALUATION Examine your balance with this person by evaluating deposits and withdrawals you have made. Mark deposits with a (+) and withdrawals with a (-). For each withdrawal, record changes you can make in the future to build deposits or re- pair trust. 1. Name of a Person (1): (Suggestion mother or father) Deposits and Withdrawals (+) (-) Changes I Can Make to Build Deposits or Repair Trust Showing kindness and courtesy Keeping my promises Honouring expectations
Show na lovelty when he/che la abeent Apologizing when needed: Forgiving if the other person has hurt YOUR 2. Name one person and write down in detail how will you improve your relationship with this person. Some of your hchaviours can be possible withdrawals for this person. List them.
HABIT 1: BE PROACTIVE Life is a book and you are its auther. You determine its plot and pace and you only you turn its pages. -BETH MENDE CONNY YOUR LIFE DOESN'T JUST "HAPPEN." Whether you know it or not, it is carefully designed by you or carelessly designed by you. It is, after all, your choice. You choose happiness. You choose sadness. You choose decisiveness. You choose ambivalence. You choose success. You choose failure. You choose courage. You choose fear. Just remember that every moment, every situation. provides a new choice. And in doing so, it gives you a perfect opportunity to do things differently to produce more positive results. Habit 1: Be Proactive is about taking responsibility for your life. You can't keep blaming everything on your parents or grandparents or your boss or coworkers, now, can you? Is your terrible childhood or genetics or work envi- ronment controlling your life? Or how about growing up poor that's a great excuse for all your problems, isn't it? We do have the freedom to choose-all of us do. Proactive people recognize that they are "response-able. They don't blame circumstances, conditions, or conditioning for their behavior. They know they choose their behavior. Reactive people, on the other hand, are often af- fected by their physical environment. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isn't, it affects their attitude and performance. Until we know ourselves and are aware of ourselves as separate from others and from the environment until we can be separated even from ourselves so that we can observe our own tendencies, thoughts, and desires we have no foundation from which to know and respect other people, let alone create change within ourselves. -STEPHEN R. COVEY 4 You tend to be the most reactive, when, where or with whom
Freedom to Choose Response Independent Will Stimulus Self- Awareness Imagination Conscience PROACTIVE MODEL DEVELOPING PROACTIVITY Between stimulus and response, you have the freedom to choose. This is your greatest power. One of the most important things you choose is what you say. Your language is a good indicator of how you see yourself. A proactive person uses proactive language I can, I will, I prefer, etc. A reactive person uses reac- tive language I can't, I must, if only. Reactive people believe they are not re- sponsible for what they say they have no choice. Think of two or three situations in your personal life during the past few weeks when you have responded in a reactive way. Describe what you said. # Reactive response Situation 1. Reactive response Situation 2
Now think of some proactive responses you might have used in the same siru- ations, Write them down in the spaces below. 6. Proactive response Situation 1. 7. Proactive response Situation 2. Make it a point to really listen to your language during the next week. Is your language more proactive or reactive? Is there an area in your life you are unhappy about or frustrated by family, a relationship, your job? What are you unhappy about or frustrated by? For example, do you feel powerless, hopeless, or used? Describe the situation. 8. Frustrating situation. How do you respond? 9. Your reaction when feeling powerless/frustrated. What other choices might exist between the stimulus and the response? 10. Write about your choices between stimulus and response. Review your Homework 7. Conscientiousness is a predictor of proactivity. Can you respond proactively?
As this situation arises, remember your ability to choose your response and choose one of the responses you came up with in the question above. You can MASTER the moment between a negative stimulus and your re- sponse by following these steps: 1. Measure how important the situation is to you on a scale of 1-5. 2. Assess your initial reactionfrustration, anger, fear, etc. 3. See the stimulus/response model in your mind. 4. Think about a proactive response. 5. Engage or exit-use the response you've chosen or exit the situation. 6. Review your performance to see how proactive you are. Use the MASTER checklist for one week. Make a conscious effort to use your "pause" button in the moment of choice and work toward proactive responses. Assess your progress at the end of the week by answering these questions: 11. How do you use 4 Human Endowments to stop reactive actions? Some- Never Times SELF AWARENESS I take time to examine my thoughts or feelings and change them if necessary. 1 am aware of how my thoughts affect my attitude and behaviour I take time to think quietly and clear my head without interruptions. CONSCIENCE I get a feeling inside me that prompts me about things I should or shouldn't do. 1 listen to the feelings that prompt me and behave accordingly 1 have taken time to think about what I value. I can tell the difference between what society and the media want me to value and what my values are IMAGINATION think ahead I have pictured myself succeeding in my goals can easily imagine other creative solutions to problems or obstacles INDEPENDENT WILL I keep promises to myself and to others. I set and achieve meaningtul goals in my life. remember and honour my values even when making tough decisions Always
In what ways have my proactive responses improved my life? 12. What do you understand by "Be Proactive"? How will you be more proactive in your life? Remember that mastering proactive responses will take time and practice. You may not always succeed, but just remembering that you have a choice will make a great deal of difference. HOW LARGE IS YOUR CIRCLE? You have control over three things: what you think, what you say, and how you behave. To make a change in your life, you must recognize these gif are the most powerful tools you possess in shaping the form of your life. SONYA FRIEDMAN The problems, challenges, and opportunities we face each day fall into two areas: Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence. We cach have a wide of range concerns our health, our children, problems at work, the national debt, ter- rorism in the world, the weather. As we look at this list, it becomes apparent that there are some things over which we have no real control and others that we can do something about. Proactive people focus their efforts on their Car- cle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about health, children, problems at work. Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern, things over which they have little or no control: the na- tional debt, terrorism, the weather. Gaining an awareness of in which area we expend our energies is a giant step in developing proactivity Chiring this week write down the various challenges and problems you face Which anra dons rach fall within? What is your immediate response
In what ways have my proactive responses improved my life? 12. What do you understand by "Be Proactive"? How will you be more proactive in your life? Remember that mastering proactive responses will take time and practice. You may not always succeed, but just remembering that you have a choice will make a great deal of difference. HOW LARGE IS YOUR CIRCLE? You have control over three things: what you think, what you say, and how you behave. To make a change in your life, you must recognize these gifts are the most powerful tools you posses in shaping the form of your life. SONYA FRIEDMAN The problems, challenges, and opportunities we face each day fall into two areas: Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence. We each have a wide range of concerns our health, our children, problems at work, the national debt, ter- rorism in the world, the weather. As we look at this list, it becomes apparent that there are some things over which we have no real control and others that we can do something about. Proactive people focus their efforts on their Cir- cle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about health, children, problems at work. Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern, things over which they have little or no control the na tional debt, terrorism, the weather, Gaining an awareness of in which area we expend our energies is a giant step in developing proactivity During this werk, write down the various challenges and problems you face Which arra does ch fall within What is your immediate response
CHALLENGE or PROBLEM Examplan Traffic Jam Cleaning of my room 13. Your problems below (write at least 4 problems or Issues) IN WHICH CIRCLE RESPONSE Anger, swearing When it is done feeling of vatisfaction. Circle of Concern Circle of Influence Circle of Concern Circle of Influence Keeping in mind the above model and making your Circle of Influence grow, choose one challenge from each of the areas above that you would like to work on during the next week. How will you change your response to meet the challenge more effectively? 14. Which problem did you choose from your Circle of influence and what will you de about it?
15. Which problem did you choose from your Circle of Concern and what will you do about It? Will you try to bring it in your Circle of Influence or disengage? TAKING INITIATIVE Demosthenes, one of Aristotle's contemporaries, desperately wanted to be a public speaker. But his inarticulate and stammering pronunciation made at- taining his dream seem unlikely. Through conscious endeavor, Demosthenes overcame his limitations. He learned to speak distinctly by talking with peb- bles in his mouth, and further trained his voice by speaking and reciting speeches while breathlessly running up and down stairs. Is there something you have always wanted to do but felt you didn't have the talent, time, or ability? What would it take for you to overcome your weaknesses? What one thing can you do this week to begin? 16. What one thing you can do this week to overcome your weakness. years Have you ever tried to put the skids on an ant? It's virtually impossible. They never stop. Put one to the test someday. Pretend you're five old again. and make a little hill in an ant's path. The ant will walk up and over the top without braking. It will go into a hole, over a log, through grass. If it can't go through, it will go around. An ant will never turn around and walk the other way, no matter what obstacles are in its path. Try applying that tenacity to your life. Of course, you'll want to use your brain, too. But in the determination department, be an ant. Refuse to be stopped. Keep going, make proactive choices, and learn as you go. People who patiently persist finally see their dreams come true. Got Courage?! If you could travel to anywhere in the world, where would it be? If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be? 10
What's stopping you from doing any or all of these things? You have the choice, don't you? What would it be like if you lived your life as a work of art in progress? If each breath and each action were part of an unfolding master- piece? If you saw the shadows and light areas as part of the composition? Ac- cepted it all? Found joy in the beauty of it? Where are your choices taking you? What you make of your life is up to you. Every person creates his or her own reality. Authorship of your life is one of your absolute rights, yet so often people deny that they have the ability to script the life they desire. They look past the fundamental truth that it is not our external resources that determine our success or failure, but rather our own belief in ourselves and our willingness to create a life according to our highest aspirations. Got Courage?! TRANSITION PERSON A tendency that's run through your family for generations can stop with you. You're a Transition Person-a link between the past and future. And your own change can affect many, many lives downstream. You can be the change agent. A Transition Person breaks unhealthy. abusive, or ineffective. learned behaviours and replaces them with proactive, helpful, effective behaviours. This person. by his example, passes on effective habits that strengthen and build others in positive ways. 17. Who has been a Transition Person for you personally? Habit 1 - Be Proactive Key Actions Underlying Principles and Paradigm You choose your actions and the weather of your mind 1 Stop and think Ask what is the right thing to do? *You choose your response to now ther real in the sands 2. Gain control of your emotions, Walk wayfa Cede people do not "mak" you angry only you choose to be angry Fatience a proactive choice. 3. Focus on matters within your fluence, not on matters outside your contras Tokes onsibility for you cons athartha others ar making same sxcuses 11
HABIT 2: BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND Imagining what you want as if is already exis opens the door to lesting is happen SHAKTI GAWAIN So, WHAT DO YOU WANT to be when you grow up? That question may appear a little trite at first, but just think about it for a moment. Are you- right now who you want to be, what you dreamed you'd be, doing what you always wanted to do? Now, be honest. Well, are you? It's incredibly easy to get caught up in the activity trap, in the "busyness" of life, to work harder and harder at climbing the ladder of success, only to discover, upon reaching the top rung, that the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall. Sometimes people find themselves achieving victories that are empty-successes that have come at the expense of things they suddenly real- ize were far more valuable to them. If your ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step you take just gets you to the wrong place faster. How depressing is that? Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind is based on imagination-the ability to envision, see the potential, create with our minds what we cannot at pres ent see with our eyes and conscience. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental (or first) creation and a physical (or second) creation. The second creation follows from the first, just as a build- ing follows from a blueprint. It's the same in your personal life. If you don't make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life. then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default. It's about connecting again with your own uniqueness and then defining the personal, moral, and ethical guidelines within which you can most happily express and fulfill it. To begin with the end in mind means to begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen CHECKING YOUR VISION It's time for a personal vision checkup. Take a minute and think about each question below Write your thoughts in the space provided. What am I doing right now with my life? Does it make me happy? Do I feel fulfilled 13 Your Au
DEVELOPING A PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT. One of the best ways to begin with the end in mind and incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a Personal Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to be and do. It is your plan for success. It reaffirms who you are, puts your goals in focus, and moves your ideas into the real world. Your mission statement makes you the leader of your own life. You create your own destiny and secure the future you envision. How about that? Look again at your responses to the questions in Checking Your Vision on pages 42 and 43. It's very likely that your true mission in life is beginning to surface again. Let's get to work on your Personal Mission Statement. The sooner you have a clear vision of what you want to be and the contributions you want to make, the more effective you'll be in your life. Keep in mind that a Personal Mission Statement is, well, personal. There is no set length or style. It can be a poem, a few sentences, a few pages, or even a song. As a sculptor must bring shape, color, and expression to his clay, the same is true of your mission statement. You bring your past experiences, wisdom, ideas, and creativity to the process of creating a Personal Mission Statement. If what you write feels flat and unexciting, you're on the wrong track. If the words overwhelm with emotion and excitement, you're onto something! you PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT EXAMPLES EXAMPLE I My life is an adventure to savor and enjoy. I have a great purpose and destiny. In my life I will: Love and serve God, family, and neighbors. Have joy in serving Build and strengthen young people. Seek truth.. Develop wisdom Teach 13
Set an example Share. II. Have health and strength. Be faithful. Walk in peace. Pray Listen. Be patient. Cultivate peace and harmony. Honor my mother. Remember who I am, where I came from, and my purpose. Example 2 My mission is to give, for giving is what I do best, and I can learn to do better. I will seek to learn, for learning is the basis for growth, and growing is the key to living. I will seek first to understand, for understanding is the key to find- ing value, and value is the basis for respect, decisions, and action. This should be my first act with wife, my my family, and business. I want to help in Huence the future development of people and organizations. I want to teach my children and others to love and laugh, to learn and grow beyond their cur rent bounds, I will build personal, business, and civic relationships by giving in frequent little ways. my Example 3 To cultivate a universal responsibility for one another and the planet we THE DALAI LAMA share 14
"ROUGH DRAFT OF MISSION STATEMENT" https://msb.franklincovey.com/ Go to the website: What do you stand for? Human beings are driven by purpose So, what's yours? Defining t can end powerfu direction to your work, your family, and your life. We can help you put it into words Defire your mission> And select "PERSONAL". Personal Family til a. Complete the Questionnaire. Finish each statement with a full stop b. When you reach the PD file save it Take Screenshots of first 2 pages of PDF file Capture the Screen and paste below. 19 Your Screenshot Team