Revision is a vital tool in both writing and analysis. It is important to reflect on not only how your ideas are present
Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2022 10:04 am
Revision is a vital tool in both writing and analysis. It isimportant to reflect on not only how your ideas are presented toyour audience, but how you formulate and defend your analysis.Comments from your readers are vital to understanding how yourideas regarding your primary source are influencing others’perceptions of the novel.
Using your instructor's comments on your work and in the rubric,please complete the worksheet below. Each response should be 4-6sentences in length and clearly identify not only what you willrevise, but how you plan to do so.
This whole section is not really needed here. Madison Mitchell ENGL 1101 Professor Naomie Jean-Pierre 19 June 2022 It would be better under- stood in the body. Wrong order Surname Mitchell 1 Hook is not engaging. The two prominent leaders, Frederick Douglass and Martin Luther King lived in different You've confused the former with the latter centuries. The former battled for African-American constitutional rights in the twentieth-while the Title Needs Work: Still Broad/Generic Similarities and differences between Martin Luther King's Letter from Birmingham and Frederick Douglass's What to the slave is the fourth July latter advocated for abolishing slavery in the nineteenth century, but they always had one objective word choice or purpose in common: battling for African-American justice and assimilation. Both Douglass and Luther King had commonalities and differences in their perspective of Christianity's place in the statement is not clear. broader.context.of."What to the slave is the fourth of July" and the letter from Birmingham.jail. For instance, they both emphasized their outrage and contempt of white Christian churches for justifying and allowing segregation and slavery, while the tone and intensity of their condemnation differed. Furthermore, the King is more optimistic about the role of religion in eliminating enslavement and isolation legacies and adopts a more liberal position on the subject. There are about settings, ideas, notable differences and similarities between King's and Douglass's themes, as well as the writing styles they used in their speeches. "Big picture idea is not capitavating or fresh. "There are notable similarities" can be said of virtualy any writing. More suitable for a body paragraph. Too much detail here.
Topic sentence does not match thesis point #1 Martin Luther King. Letter from Birmingham Jail, and Frederick Douglass's "What to the Slave is the Fourth of July" are kindred spirits; despite being written a century apart, and numerous disparities in their distinct writing styles, the essence of the message communicated remains remarkably same. Both Martin Luther King Jr. and Frederick Douglas shared similar opinions and concepts about how African Americans were treated. They each explain a difficult but heart- breaking event that causes them to mistrust their moral convictions and the system's ability to Missing Dr. Transition Surname 2 change for the better. "What to the slave is the fourth of July?" Frederick Douglass aimed to persuade people not merely of the evils of slavery but also to make liberation more palatable to North whites (Douglass). In contrast, the letter from Birmingham asserts that people have a moral obligation to breach unfair laws and take immediate action instead of relying upon justice to be served through authorities, which could take an eternity (king). Racism and inequality are terms that have existed in America for a long time ago. It has been debated by the leaders who existed in authority at that time, but nothing seemed to change; many people fought for justice in various ways, including protesting, writing speeches, and speaking their cries out. Both King and Douglass points. have a history of speaking and writing against injustice. Both leaders claim that oppression and Comparison os workable, but the topic of this paragraph is off, considering your thesis
discrimination must be combated for everybody to be free and democratic. King believes that the government's inequalities must be addressed (Blassingame). He loves to connect the fight for freedom among African Americans to the early Christian battle for religious acceptance. Delete Space Both authors discussed the theme of justice and injustice in their speeches, where King Run-on sentence stated that "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere," the author's contrast in the anaphora demonstrates how critical it was to combat oppression so that freedom was not jeopardized. (King). During his rallies, King did not seek to challenge the nation's justice but was Unclear on his toes with the nation's injustice. The hypothesis's general truth affects deology by expressing that if injustices were not addressed quickly, the person's rights would be jeopardized. The word contrast in the statement emphasizes that while there are appropriate laws in authority, there are also unreasonable laws that need to be addressed to keep the country safe. Inequality affects everyone, not just those who are oppressed. The inequality that "directly hurts one" will eventually "[impact] all indirectly" (King). Slaves cannot celebrate what is not theirs, according to one of Douglass' key assertions. The "blessings" that the whites rejoice over are "shared by [them], not by You end the paragraph on a comparison. How did you relate the paragraph to your "big picture" idea?
[the slaves]" (Douglass). The contrast and parallelism Douglass demonstrate that slaves could not enjoy the Fourth of July because they had no freedom. It was a must for injustice to be addressed for all Americans to be allowed to celebrate their liberation (Douglass). The dichotomy in Douglass' argument exemplifies how disparate the two organizations were: whites celebrate. fictitious freedom, whereas slaves lament their lack of democracy. Compared to white Americans, slaves are oppressed in various ways, as shown by parallelism. Reiterate main idea: Big Picture cannot simply be that there are similarities and differences. Delete Space ssing transition Leck thesis tement order Run-on sentence: Repetition of title is unecessary The two speeches were made on different occasions, "what to the slave is the fourth of points. July" by Douglass. As it states, the Fourth of July is an important day in America since it is the day Thus.... Evidence of freedom and is usually accompanied by concerts, fireworks, and alcohol for celebration. When concerning Frederick made his speech, he emphasized freedom, liberty, and citizenship. The paradox of this remark was that white Americans in the south still were involved in the slave trade during the Use Douglass' words and provide more evidenceto support his point. period (Douglass). So the 4th of July was simply the day for the African American community in their "occasion" or exigence for writing should be found and used here to support your first two sentences. the south since unless one lived in the north, one could not get to experience the same liberties that And Douglass' speech was not? whites did. In contrast, "Letter from Birmingham Jail" was written at a critical juncture in history. According to... Who wrote this? Why is it paraphrased rather than in quotation marks? Many causes were fighting against desegregation that needed to be disproven, as well as many comfortable moderates who were supposed to be pushed into action (Blassingame). The letter is peppered with some of the most delicate and incisive burns in literary history, demonstrating should do Setting and occassion for their respective pieces is a good topic, but you research. King's deep intelligence and righteous fury in his lifetime experience fighting for equal rights "I have watched white churches stand on the sidelines and merely mouth pious irrelevancies and Source is confusing. sanctimonious trivialities" (Blassingame).
To sum up, it is true to say that both King and Douglass, despite their differences in the Sentence can be clearer. time they all gave their speeches had the same.obiective as discussed above. They both fought hard against the injustice and inequality of African American people. They express their wordiness disappointment on how they felt with the white community that ignores the suffering of African American people who promised justice and equality among everyone but, after all, they could not fulfill. Run-on sentence. African Americans promised justice? Sentence needs to be clarified. Surname Overarching idea does not work.
Madison Mitchell Gwinnett-Technical- ENGL 1101: Composition and Rhetoric Professor Jean-Pierre Incorrect Order 12 June 2022 Hook is only partially engaging.. Transition Missing Transition Missing Mitchell Surname 1 Recurring errors from draft. Unique Title Needed Rhetorical Analysis of "Letters from Birmingham Jail" by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. The "Letter from Birmingham Jail" is a letter written by Dr Martin Luther King while in What yea Birmingham jail in response to a public statement issued by eight white religious leaders from the southern states. The clergymen had argued that Luther's creation of civil tension through street protests should end as it promoted racial hatred and violence (King). In the letter, Dr Martin Luther Jr. voices the plight of colored people in the United States at the time. He uses various approaches See Draft Feedback to gain the support of both the white and colored people in the US Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. uses The letter has an evident use of parallelism. This is captured in the lines, "When you see mobs lynch your fathers and mothers...when you have to generate responses to your five-year-old son on why white people mistreat colored people..." (King). The repetitive use of "when you" helps emphasize the various ways in which colored people are mistreated. This instance of parallelism use helps to depict in the audiences' minds an image of endless challenges faced by people of color in the United States. In other words, it helps to create the theme of repetitive suffering of people of color that has been going on for decades, if not centuries. This is exactly what I asked you not to do! His last name is "King". Luther-also uses metaphors strategies rhetorical devices such as appeal to reason, appeal to emotions, appeal to ethics, phors, and Metaphors and parrallelism are only one kind of rhetorical strategies: logical appeal. Where ar the others? parallelism to communicate his message to his target audience. ate a visual image in the target audience's mind of the selective application of human rights in the US. One specific use of metaphors is in the line,
"twenty million black people languishing in an airtight cage of poverty in the middle of a First, explain that it is a metaphor. See draft feedback. developed society" (King). The use of this metaphor comparing blacks to people caged in poverty Is King making an argument here or giving us a visual can be argued to be Laherattempt to trigger a disobedience. Luther-argues civil tension is necessary to force the oppressors to the negotiating table and alludes that no oppressor has ever granted freedom to the oppressed voluntarily. The use of metaphors makes his message more understandable to the target audience. This is disrespectful to the author. Luther uses an appeal to emotions to draw the readers' attention and make them sympathize with the ordeal that colored people have undergone in the US. A vivid description of the violence and segregation of colored people helps create an image of unjustly oppressed people, thus capturing the readers' emotions. Specific use of appeal to emotion is depicted in the line, "I am doubtful that you would have lauded the policemen if you had seen their dogs sinking their teeth into unarmed and nonviolent black protestors" (King). The use of the words "nonviolent", "unarmed"," and "sinking teeth" helps the reader to see the inhuman treatment of the colored people protesting constitutionally. It helps draw the reader's attention to the uncalled-for violence against peaceful people and the suffering caused to innocents. Therefore, the reader is more inclined to feel sympathy for the black people for the mistreatment they received than side with the public statements from the government officials and religious leaders. Dr. Transition Dr Martin Luther King Jr. also uses an appeal to reason to effectively make his arguments Good believable to the clergymen and the rest of the American population. One specific use of appeal to reason is in the line, "There are more cases of unsolved bombings of black homes and churches in Birmingham than in other cities in the US" (King). These are facts that are more likely to make rational sense to the reader regarding the issue of racial segregation and violence targeting people of color in the country. Luther's approach of providing his target audience with incontestable facts Transition is missing connect to? tion from his colored audience for more civil Good
helps improve the credibility of his argument. The use of appeal to reason primarily serves to provide evidence to the audience regarding the subject matter. There is also an appeal to values in the line, "justice delayed is justice denied... injustice anywhere is a danger to justice everywhere" (King). Its use helps highlight the ethical importance of the struggle. The reasoning behind the ethical struggle, Luther also uses the hypophora rhetorical device in the instances where he asks questions and then immediately answers them. One instance of hypophora u in the line, "...In this sense, they have been publicly 'nonviolent". But for what purpose? To maintain the evil system of racial New sentence segregation" (King). The use of hypophora serves three functions, namely, as a transitional device Furthermore, to drive the debate in a new direction, catch readers' attention and suggest and answer questions that the reader may not have perceived. To sum up, Dr Martin Luther King Jr. uses various rhetorical devices, viz., parallelism, metaphors, hypophora and appeals to emotions, reason, and values, to present his message to the target audience. The use of parallelism helps depict a protracted struggle for the emancipation of people of color in the United States. The use of metaphors helps create a visual image in the reader's mind. Notably, it helped inspire many colored people to participate in the struggle for equality. Luther uses an appeal to emotions to make the reader sympathize with the suffering of black people. The use of appeal to reason is primarily aimed at enhancing the credibility of his have been the message. Lastly, Luther uses an appeal to values to highlight the unethicality of racial segregation These three sentences should and violence against people of color in the US. The use of these rhetorical devices enables Dr topic sentences of your three body paragraphs. They can also be more specific: King employs emotional Martin Luther King to communicate his message to the target audience with a strong effect. Overarching idea is needed. appeals such as emotion laden language and narration to connect the audience's emotions to the African American struggle. Naomie Jean-Pierre Jun 13, 1:52 PM Good, but why are you not saying that this is reason? This is a logical appeal, but you are not explicitly stating that, Show more Naomie Jean-Pierre Jun 13, 1:53 PM Thesis statement attempts to say a lot, but ideas are not concise.
Using your instructor's comments on your work and in the rubric,please complete the worksheet below. Each response should be 4-6sentences in length and clearly identify not only what you willrevise, but how you plan to do so.
This whole section is not really needed here. Madison Mitchell ENGL 1101 Professor Naomie Jean-Pierre 19 June 2022 It would be better under- stood in the body. Wrong order Surname Mitchell 1 Hook is not engaging. The two prominent leaders, Frederick Douglass and Martin Luther King lived in different You've confused the former with the latter centuries. The former battled for African-American constitutional rights in the twentieth-while the Title Needs Work: Still Broad/Generic Similarities and differences between Martin Luther King's Letter from Birmingham and Frederick Douglass's What to the slave is the fourth July latter advocated for abolishing slavery in the nineteenth century, but they always had one objective word choice or purpose in common: battling for African-American justice and assimilation. Both Douglass and Luther King had commonalities and differences in their perspective of Christianity's place in the statement is not clear. broader.context.of."What to the slave is the fourth of July" and the letter from Birmingham.jail. For instance, they both emphasized their outrage and contempt of white Christian churches for justifying and allowing segregation and slavery, while the tone and intensity of their condemnation differed. Furthermore, the King is more optimistic about the role of religion in eliminating enslavement and isolation legacies and adopts a more liberal position on the subject. There are about settings, ideas, notable differences and similarities between King's and Douglass's themes, as well as the writing styles they used in their speeches. "Big picture idea is not capitavating or fresh. "There are notable similarities" can be said of virtualy any writing. More suitable for a body paragraph. Too much detail here.
Topic sentence does not match thesis point #1 Martin Luther King. Letter from Birmingham Jail, and Frederick Douglass's "What to the Slave is the Fourth of July" are kindred spirits; despite being written a century apart, and numerous disparities in their distinct writing styles, the essence of the message communicated remains remarkably same. Both Martin Luther King Jr. and Frederick Douglas shared similar opinions and concepts about how African Americans were treated. They each explain a difficult but heart- breaking event that causes them to mistrust their moral convictions and the system's ability to Missing Dr. Transition Surname 2 change for the better. "What to the slave is the fourth of July?" Frederick Douglass aimed to persuade people not merely of the evils of slavery but also to make liberation more palatable to North whites (Douglass). In contrast, the letter from Birmingham asserts that people have a moral obligation to breach unfair laws and take immediate action instead of relying upon justice to be served through authorities, which could take an eternity (king). Racism and inequality are terms that have existed in America for a long time ago. It has been debated by the leaders who existed in authority at that time, but nothing seemed to change; many people fought for justice in various ways, including protesting, writing speeches, and speaking their cries out. Both King and Douglass points. have a history of speaking and writing against injustice. Both leaders claim that oppression and Comparison os workable, but the topic of this paragraph is off, considering your thesis
discrimination must be combated for everybody to be free and democratic. King believes that the government's inequalities must be addressed (Blassingame). He loves to connect the fight for freedom among African Americans to the early Christian battle for religious acceptance. Delete Space Both authors discussed the theme of justice and injustice in their speeches, where King Run-on sentence stated that "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere," the author's contrast in the anaphora demonstrates how critical it was to combat oppression so that freedom was not jeopardized. (King). During his rallies, King did not seek to challenge the nation's justice but was Unclear on his toes with the nation's injustice. The hypothesis's general truth affects deology by expressing that if injustices were not addressed quickly, the person's rights would be jeopardized. The word contrast in the statement emphasizes that while there are appropriate laws in authority, there are also unreasonable laws that need to be addressed to keep the country safe. Inequality affects everyone, not just those who are oppressed. The inequality that "directly hurts one" will eventually "[impact] all indirectly" (King). Slaves cannot celebrate what is not theirs, according to one of Douglass' key assertions. The "blessings" that the whites rejoice over are "shared by [them], not by You end the paragraph on a comparison. How did you relate the paragraph to your "big picture" idea?
[the slaves]" (Douglass). The contrast and parallelism Douglass demonstrate that slaves could not enjoy the Fourth of July because they had no freedom. It was a must for injustice to be addressed for all Americans to be allowed to celebrate their liberation (Douglass). The dichotomy in Douglass' argument exemplifies how disparate the two organizations were: whites celebrate. fictitious freedom, whereas slaves lament their lack of democracy. Compared to white Americans, slaves are oppressed in various ways, as shown by parallelism. Reiterate main idea: Big Picture cannot simply be that there are similarities and differences. Delete Space ssing transition Leck thesis tement order Run-on sentence: Repetition of title is unecessary The two speeches were made on different occasions, "what to the slave is the fourth of points. July" by Douglass. As it states, the Fourth of July is an important day in America since it is the day Thus.... Evidence of freedom and is usually accompanied by concerts, fireworks, and alcohol for celebration. When concerning Frederick made his speech, he emphasized freedom, liberty, and citizenship. The paradox of this remark was that white Americans in the south still were involved in the slave trade during the Use Douglass' words and provide more evidenceto support his point. period (Douglass). So the 4th of July was simply the day for the African American community in their "occasion" or exigence for writing should be found and used here to support your first two sentences. the south since unless one lived in the north, one could not get to experience the same liberties that And Douglass' speech was not? whites did. In contrast, "Letter from Birmingham Jail" was written at a critical juncture in history. According to... Who wrote this? Why is it paraphrased rather than in quotation marks? Many causes were fighting against desegregation that needed to be disproven, as well as many comfortable moderates who were supposed to be pushed into action (Blassingame). The letter is peppered with some of the most delicate and incisive burns in literary history, demonstrating should do Setting and occassion for their respective pieces is a good topic, but you research. King's deep intelligence and righteous fury in his lifetime experience fighting for equal rights "I have watched white churches stand on the sidelines and merely mouth pious irrelevancies and Source is confusing. sanctimonious trivialities" (Blassingame).
To sum up, it is true to say that both King and Douglass, despite their differences in the Sentence can be clearer. time they all gave their speeches had the same.obiective as discussed above. They both fought hard against the injustice and inequality of African American people. They express their wordiness disappointment on how they felt with the white community that ignores the suffering of African American people who promised justice and equality among everyone but, after all, they could not fulfill. Run-on sentence. African Americans promised justice? Sentence needs to be clarified. Surname Overarching idea does not work.
Madison Mitchell Gwinnett-Technical- ENGL 1101: Composition and Rhetoric Professor Jean-Pierre Incorrect Order 12 June 2022 Hook is only partially engaging.. Transition Missing Transition Missing Mitchell Surname 1 Recurring errors from draft. Unique Title Needed Rhetorical Analysis of "Letters from Birmingham Jail" by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. The "Letter from Birmingham Jail" is a letter written by Dr Martin Luther King while in What yea Birmingham jail in response to a public statement issued by eight white religious leaders from the southern states. The clergymen had argued that Luther's creation of civil tension through street protests should end as it promoted racial hatred and violence (King). In the letter, Dr Martin Luther Jr. voices the plight of colored people in the United States at the time. He uses various approaches See Draft Feedback to gain the support of both the white and colored people in the US Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. uses The letter has an evident use of parallelism. This is captured in the lines, "When you see mobs lynch your fathers and mothers...when you have to generate responses to your five-year-old son on why white people mistreat colored people..." (King). The repetitive use of "when you" helps emphasize the various ways in which colored people are mistreated. This instance of parallelism use helps to depict in the audiences' minds an image of endless challenges faced by people of color in the United States. In other words, it helps to create the theme of repetitive suffering of people of color that has been going on for decades, if not centuries. This is exactly what I asked you not to do! His last name is "King". Luther-also uses metaphors strategies rhetorical devices such as appeal to reason, appeal to emotions, appeal to ethics, phors, and Metaphors and parrallelism are only one kind of rhetorical strategies: logical appeal. Where ar the others? parallelism to communicate his message to his target audience. ate a visual image in the target audience's mind of the selective application of human rights in the US. One specific use of metaphors is in the line,
"twenty million black people languishing in an airtight cage of poverty in the middle of a First, explain that it is a metaphor. See draft feedback. developed society" (King). The use of this metaphor comparing blacks to people caged in poverty Is King making an argument here or giving us a visual can be argued to be Laherattempt to trigger a disobedience. Luther-argues civil tension is necessary to force the oppressors to the negotiating table and alludes that no oppressor has ever granted freedom to the oppressed voluntarily. The use of metaphors makes his message more understandable to the target audience. This is disrespectful to the author. Luther uses an appeal to emotions to draw the readers' attention and make them sympathize with the ordeal that colored people have undergone in the US. A vivid description of the violence and segregation of colored people helps create an image of unjustly oppressed people, thus capturing the readers' emotions. Specific use of appeal to emotion is depicted in the line, "I am doubtful that you would have lauded the policemen if you had seen their dogs sinking their teeth into unarmed and nonviolent black protestors" (King). The use of the words "nonviolent", "unarmed"," and "sinking teeth" helps the reader to see the inhuman treatment of the colored people protesting constitutionally. It helps draw the reader's attention to the uncalled-for violence against peaceful people and the suffering caused to innocents. Therefore, the reader is more inclined to feel sympathy for the black people for the mistreatment they received than side with the public statements from the government officials and religious leaders. Dr. Transition Dr Martin Luther King Jr. also uses an appeal to reason to effectively make his arguments Good believable to the clergymen and the rest of the American population. One specific use of appeal to reason is in the line, "There are more cases of unsolved bombings of black homes and churches in Birmingham than in other cities in the US" (King). These are facts that are more likely to make rational sense to the reader regarding the issue of racial segregation and violence targeting people of color in the country. Luther's approach of providing his target audience with incontestable facts Transition is missing connect to? tion from his colored audience for more civil Good
helps improve the credibility of his argument. The use of appeal to reason primarily serves to provide evidence to the audience regarding the subject matter. There is also an appeal to values in the line, "justice delayed is justice denied... injustice anywhere is a danger to justice everywhere" (King). Its use helps highlight the ethical importance of the struggle. The reasoning behind the ethical struggle, Luther also uses the hypophora rhetorical device in the instances where he asks questions and then immediately answers them. One instance of hypophora u in the line, "...In this sense, they have been publicly 'nonviolent". But for what purpose? To maintain the evil system of racial New sentence segregation" (King). The use of hypophora serves three functions, namely, as a transitional device Furthermore, to drive the debate in a new direction, catch readers' attention and suggest and answer questions that the reader may not have perceived. To sum up, Dr Martin Luther King Jr. uses various rhetorical devices, viz., parallelism, metaphors, hypophora and appeals to emotions, reason, and values, to present his message to the target audience. The use of parallelism helps depict a protracted struggle for the emancipation of people of color in the United States. The use of metaphors helps create a visual image in the reader's mind. Notably, it helped inspire many colored people to participate in the struggle for equality. Luther uses an appeal to emotions to make the reader sympathize with the suffering of black people. The use of appeal to reason is primarily aimed at enhancing the credibility of his have been the message. Lastly, Luther uses an appeal to values to highlight the unethicality of racial segregation These three sentences should and violence against people of color in the US. The use of these rhetorical devices enables Dr topic sentences of your three body paragraphs. They can also be more specific: King employs emotional Martin Luther King to communicate his message to the target audience with a strong effect. Overarching idea is needed. appeals such as emotion laden language and narration to connect the audience's emotions to the African American struggle. Naomie Jean-Pierre Jun 13, 1:52 PM Good, but why are you not saying that this is reason? This is a logical appeal, but you are not explicitly stating that, Show more Naomie Jean-Pierre Jun 13, 1:53 PM Thesis statement attempts to say a lot, but ideas are not concise.