Carol and Jason, both in their early 30s, have been living together for less than a year. They have a lot in common and

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Carol and Jason, both in their early 30s, have been living
together for less than a year. They have a lot in common and enjoy
each other’s company – going to hockey games and movies together,
skiing in the mountains in the winter and hiking in the summer.
They share responsibilities around the apartment and each
contributes equally to the costs. A conflict has arisen, that is
causing considerable strife in their relationship. Jason has a
small group of buddies that he has socialized with since high
school. Carol has made it clear that she does not want to socialize
with these friends (all guys). She refers to them as “losers” and
“adolescents.” Jason is devoted to his friends and enjoys the crazy
and comfortable camaraderie he experiences when he is with them.
Both Carol and Jason had thought that their relationship had
potential to blossom into a long-term commitment, even marriage.
This conflict is causing them both to reconsider. Define the
Conflict a. Facts: o What is the relevant information here? How
might Carol get more information on the rewards that Jason gets
from these friends? How can Jason discover exactly what Carol
doesn’t like about these friends? b. Feelings: o How might Carol
feel when Jason goes out with his buddies? o How might Jason feel
when Carol refuses to spend time with his buddies? c. Negative
Outcome: o How might this relationship deteriorate if Jason
continues to spend time with his buddies? o How might the
relationship deteriorate if Carol continues to comment negatively
about these friends? d. Positive Benefits: o What opportunities
might be gained if Jason continues to see these friends without
Carol? o What is the best thing that could happen? Is there further
information you need to adequately understand this problem? If so,
what is it and where would you get this information? e. Possible
Solutions Based on your discussion, consider as many possible
solutions as you can to this conflict. Try to think of obvious and
not so obvious alternatives. For each one, consider the positive
and negative outcomes – for both Carol and Jason. 2. Based on your
analysis, what is the best choice for Carol and Jason at this time?
Some questions to consider: Is this a win-win solution (i.e., do
both partners gain) or, alternately, are the losses shared? Is the
solution worth the costs to each person and/or to their
relationship? Are the costs and rewards evenly distributed between
both partners? Might other solutions be more effective? 3. Evaluate
the Solution What questions would you want to ask to find out if
the solution was, in fact, successful?
4. Self-reflection: Was this a new way for you to come to a
decision in a conflict situation? How did it feel to you? What did
you learn from the process?